A loveletter

Dear Universe:

I would like to exchange my allergy "dust" for another allergy of equal or greater value. Perhaps an allergy to "electric jellyfish" or "dodo feathers". I would also be willing to do a double exchange:two for the price of one. I am willing to accept allergy "frozen cactus juice" or "sandworm spit".

If I unable to exchange, I would simply like to return it for store credit.

No love,

-me