If pets could talk...

If this was early this morning I would say it was something like this:




Molly-the-cat: Are you awake yet? Are you awake yet? OHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! You ARE awake! Are you awake? Awake? Are you? Are you now? What about now? Because, if you are, and I don't want to be a bother, but if you are awake now, I would like more food. So are you awake? What about now? No, no... don't get up on my behalf. I don't want to be a bother. But if you are awake... Are you awake? That arm flopping, throwing pillow thing usually means you are awake. So are you? Awake that is? I mean, if you are already up, I would really-



Me: *sits up on the side of the bed and hits the alarm clock* "Ungh..."



Molly: Oh! Hey! Good two legs! Wake up! *rubs against my leg to let me know I am a good girl for getting up.* Now that you are up, I want to talk to about-are you still awake? What about now? Okay, good. I want to go outside. First food and then outside. Outside. Outside! Food. Then outside. OhmygodI NEED OUTSIDE. Food, first. Are you awake? Can I go outside? What about now? Are you awake?



Me: *gets out of bed and heads towards the kitchen.*



Molly: *herding* Oh, Good! You are finally awake. God, that took like, five minutes! I thought I was going to die. Outside? Can I go outside? Outside? Oh, and food? Then outside? Outside? Open the door! Open the door! Open the door! Forget the foods open the DOooooooooooor!



Me: *opens the door and boots the cat onto the wet porch and then shuts the door behind her.*



Molly: HOOOOOORAY!!! I has an outside!! And I love it! *runs into the grass* OHHHHHHHHHH MY GAWDDDD It's full of WET!!!!! Let me inside! Inside! Open the door! Let me inside! Let me inside! Oh, God! It has a wet! Get the wet off! IT IS ON ME! I NEED INSIDE! INSIDE! My yard has a wet and I need inside!